~~Just a Note~~

Dear blog,

It's been a long time since I wrote something. It's not that I am missing on things, but not finding time to share them with you and everyone else. Lots of things went on and off, in past few months. The semester is pretty hectic this time. People say spring semester is always tiring and seems very long. No one knows the reason behind. May be its the cold weather, that makes u feel sluggish most of the time or the short day when it's dark only by 4pm. Whatever, I am just waiting for this semester to get over soon.Btw, I am just a month away from summer break and some fun :)

Will be back soon with some musings.

Luv
#Neetu

~~ Is Hope good or bad ~~

Wish you all a very Happy New Year. Its still not too late to wish :) HOPE you all have a great year ahead. 

HOPE. What a wonderful feeling. I have always been astonished at this human tendency to have a hope for everything. I would be surprised to know if there is a person on this planet, who has never hoped for anything. 

Few days back, when I was watching director Ang Lee's movie 'Life of Pi', this thought fascinated me more, how even a little bit of hope is enough for the survival of a being. The protagonist Pi, after losing his entire family in the ship wreckage and stranded on a boat for some 200+ days with a tiger, maintained hope to reach the shore. He did everything he could, to stay alive, whether it was eating fish for survival, in spite of him being a vegetarian or, to confront the wild tiger, Richard Parker. There are many other aspects to this story too like fear, faith, the differences between man and beast and so on, but my focus was more on hope. It was that little hope, that gave him the courage to do everything he did. The hope to stay alive, the hope to reach the shore, the hope to get help in the middle of the vast ocean and hope to get back to his normal life. On a side note, I liked the name, Richard Parker, what a royal name for a Bengal tiger. :)

When talking about movies, how can I forget another favorite one, The Shawshank Redemption, the story of hope. Andy and Red spent a lot of time together in the jail. From the very start they clicked to each other and became very good friends but they differed a lot in their thoughts about hope. While Red was not hopeful at all, Andy explains him that Hope is something inside, that the prison could never take. I love these two quotes from the movie, which beautifully explain Andy and Red's perception of hope.

While Red says, "Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane." 

Andy's view is "Hope is a good thing, may be the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."

Red thought it could drive him insane thats why he never hoped for anything, until he was influenced by Andy. What Andy did, was because of that little hope he had. It made him get rid of the prison, which he never deserved and live a free life. Also, Andy changed Red and how in the end, Red also becomes hopeful and gets a new idea of life. He too starts hoping. I second Andy, that hope never dies. It dwells in every person and make them move forward in life. 

Hmm, I understand that movies are fictional most of the times, but they are someone's imagination. Sometimes we could relate to them and sometimes not at all. These are two stories which are focused on human emotions. May be the background is not the same in our real lives but the feeling is the same. If we see in the real world, everyone's life is bumpy, no one has a smooth ride. Many wrong things happen in life, like people losing their jobs in the shadow of economic crisis, losing homes in a flood, loss of loved ones, loss due to terrorism and war, and many more which, we couldn't even imagine, but still lives go on, with a hope that things will be fine and there is a better tomorrow. There is always a Sunrise after a sunset.

Thinking on those similar lines, why hope is always good. I have always heard people hoping for good things like I hope you get well soon; Hope I pass in my exam; I hope this year I get a promotion;  I hope you have a safe flight; I hope my family is doing good; I hope this journey is successful; I hope my project finishes right in time; and many many more hopes. Have you ever wondered, that why no one hopes that things go wrong, rather they hope for best or at least good?

There are some questions popping in my mind right now. Is this a feeling that keeps us moving and working towards our goals and in a way gives us a reason to live? Is hope a necessity, in order to live? Is there any relation between being hopeful and being optimistic?  Are there only optimistic people who hope and others with negative emotions don't?  My idea is that there could be two set of people one who hope for good and one who doesn't have hope at all (though it is rare). So logically, does that mean hope is always good and never bad. Either it is there or it is absent.

I would love to hear some more thoughts. Please comment, what's your take on it. I too have a HOPE that, whosoever reads it, leaves a line about their idea of hope :) 

Luv

#Neetu

PS: After writing this post, I realised that, I have used the word 'hope' a lot. But I don't want to change it now. I like this word :) 

Other than this, the winter break went fine. I had to work a little but then there was time to relax, cook, read and last but not the least, a weekend trip to Las Vegas. yay. It was fun. Keep reading guys. Signing off for now. Btw, they say winter break is over but winter is not over yet.  Its -16 C outside when I am writing this and lake is still frozen. I went for a walk on the lake last weekend. People were camping with the fishing gear. Classes have already begun and so is the new fun along with it. Again, thanks for reading.

~~ Back after a while ~&~ the Grad school ~~

Finally exams are over and the fall semester came to an end...Sigh !!

I was missing my blog so badly, but really there was no scope for me to find time for it. It was actually taxing. Overall, I had sort of mixed feeling towards this whole study thing. It was stressful but still I felt happy about doing all the hard work. This post dedicated to my grad school. Oh btw, college is also called school here :)

I know I told in my last post, that I should write about being in a grad school and at this time of year it seems so obvious. My exams are over and I feel like sharing my experience as of now. Before doing that, I want to say, thank you to Prof Stern, for all the support and motivation. In case he is reading this, I want to tell him, he is the coolest boss I ever had. Working with him is another experience, I would want to tell. When he told me, he was following my blog.... I was so glad to hear and nervous at the same time...lol. That’s another story. Gosh! sometimes I have this mind flooded with talking points. I guess, I have become more talkative in the recent past. And now that I realized, I am getting distracted, so coming back to the point, which is the grad school. I will try my best, not to bore people, but in case you are, I wont take the responsibility..haha.

Before deciding on going to school, many ideas came to my mind, like why should I go for it, would I be able to do it, or whether it would be worth it or not, whether I should work or study. Well, the monstrous and monotonous questions, like what do I want to do in life, where do I want to see myself 3-4 years down the line, etc. were in line too. My close ones, used to ask me, why do u want to go for a grad school and I just knew one thing. I wanted to go one step ahead in life and get more knowledge and exposure to a totally new world.

Stepping into school after a 4-year leap was not easy at first place but I gelled in just couple of days, without much effort. Met a lot of nice and lovely people from my country and from other countries too. Suddenly, I was so busy with homework, classes and work that I even forgot that I was studying again after 4 years. It was fun in a different sort of way, which I enjoyed. Sitting in a diverse class discussing Routing protocols felt good. It wasn't boring at all. Doing group studies, discussing problems and then working on them was exciting.

This school was very different from my undergrad college. Even though its very flexible in terms of courses I can choose, or what research area I want to work on or what major I want to graduate in, there are few regulations that everyone has to take care of. One of the important ones is that universities are against plagiarism and is considered as a crime. For those, who are wondering what Plagiarism is- it is the act of copying someone else's work. There are strong rules for it; one can even be deported if caught for plagiarism. It’s fair and ethically correct. In case, one wants to copy or rephrase, citation becomes necessary. So has to be careful even while doing the homework !!

Initial two months passed by with just the classes, homework, mid terms and work and then came the last one month of this semester. I wasn't expecting it to be very relaxing but it also didn't turn out to be calm either. It was a wearing month, all in for the term projects and papers. While working late nights for many days, coffee was the only companion. I am a tea person but the required caffeine to keep me wide awake could only be harnessed from hot coffee. So yeah, 2am, 3am coffee breaks were usual on all those days. Thinking of which, I remember the first day of orientation, whenever I used to tell people working at the university, I have classes to attend and few of them are very late in the evening after a gap of around 7 hours, the very next thing I used to hear in an American accent was 'Oh you need a lot of caffeine for that' and I thought 'why so, I will be fine'. America runs on coffee. I realized the importance of that sentence when I used to be all drained out for a couple of classes in the evening, so yes, you guessed right. I started taking cappuccinos, before those classes. Sounds like a drug to me.. lol. Its a bad addiction or, in good words, a medicine to keep your senses open. Well, I got over it as soon as the work pressure was gone. So, good for me.

One interesting thing, I wanted to share, that used to happen during my exam days. When I was bored of reading research papers, I used to scribble some weirdo lines on papers and was planning for what are the things I have to do after this semester is over. Foresightedness, u know. Haha.. even I was amazed at those thoughts. I was missing things I love to do in free time. I wanted to roam around, cook some new delicacies, do shopping, travel, read, pamper myself and do nothing for a while. Yeah, I actually missed all of this. Things were getting piled up and holidays were nearing. So, what happens in winter break wont stay with me, I should share after its over.

I know I worked a lot for my projects. There were ups and downs. On one hand, there was a day when I wanted to read, think about it and work more. While on the other hand, there were days when I wanted to just finish it off without giving much attention. I was pretty capricious though, changing minds so frequently. Whatever, I submitted my paper, gave my presentation, prof gave good comments, good grades and I was all elated. So it was worth putting all those efforts. I was so happy with what I did, all on my own. There is so much of self-learning there and no spoon feeding. Even though it was just a small part of the entire thing, it gave me a new level of self-confidence. Actually, a bit proud feeling from inside. Now I feel like a fully upgraded newer version of myself.

Hmm, it’s a long way to go, before I say, "finally it’s done" and "I graduated with flying colors". But I am looking forward to the real life learning, other than just the courses. My feelings have changed from what they were, before going to the school. Now I feel that 'Grad school is much more than just getting ahead in life'. A lot to learn about yourself and what you are capable of.

And to those who have reached till this line, appreciate your patience :). Thanks for reading.

Luv

#Neetu

~~ Initial days of Being in America ~~

After listening to re-elected President Obama's victory speech and the mention of American dream, many thoughts started crawling in my head. I thought about my blog and writing something about my perception of this place. Then I thought why not give some excercise to my brain and recall my first few week's experience of being in this country. More specifically, I will talk about people here. It's been awhile since I am living in “THE” United States of America, also known as Amreeka by many of our fellows back home. When I did my undergrad in my home country and started working, I had no plans, even in my wildest of dreams of settling in States, but as one of the Beatles famous song written by John Lennon says "There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be..". Destiny takes you wherever it has to (I know many don't..but I believe in destiny and that everything happens for a reason). So, destiny held my hand and brought me here, in a tiring, almost 24 hours flight... sigh!

I remember the day I landed here, it was night so its like, I took my flight when it was dark and landed when it was night. Well, I was told, welcome to America and another time zone. Everything here was extremely different from the country where I belong to. Actually, I was excited couple of days before I had to fly, but when I came here, I was not for some reason. All the excitement succumbed to the pain of leaving behind my family, my friends and my home, miles away. Yeah..I am an emotional person.Today, I accept this publicly... lol.
Ok.. I didn't tell that it was freaking cold here that day. It was March and temperature must be -15 degree C at that time.There was some good amount of snow on the roadsides, which was obviously not too fascinating, considering my emotional mindset and the long journey. My body was not accustomed to such extremities but I guess I easily adapted to freezing, chilling cold. That made me think, there could be some truth in that non-proven theory which said, humans evolved only because they could adapt to the change in the environments. I too followed my religion of being human.

The next few days went just like that, unpacking and trying to figure out few things at home. So there I go, in my new apartment, no wide open windows that would let gush of wind come inside as it was back in my parents place, it was wide though but with a mesh behind a sliding glass door; there were switches which are actually ON when in OFF state (according to my knowledge that time.. funny..it took awhile to train my brain); a nice backyard with a view of dense trees which looked scary in the night; the walls were fine. I got to know from few friends here that, there are apartments where insulation is not good, so you can even hear whispers of your neighbors talking in adjacent apartment.That was weird !

Jet lag was going off in a week or so and I was coming back to senses and back to life. I used to go for walks alone to explore this new world. I was appreciating things like the weather, clean wide roads, clear sky, peacefulness and mostly the snow which made this place looked so beautiful, just serene and pure. I am a nature lover. It feels like a blessing from God. It was one such day. I was on a stroll and there was a lady coming from the other side. When we crossed each other, she smiled at me and said “Hi”. With a bit of hesitation, I returned back the “Hi”, but I had no clue why would any stranger do that. There is zero probability that she knew me because this place was strange to me and so was I to this place. The similar things happened again that week and then I learnt that people here live this way. They do small talk when in a queue or in a bus riding together, they appreciate your dress, your accessories, give their opinions sometimes and it doesn’t matter if you know each other or not, bus drivers smile and greet you when you get into or get off the bus, people say thank you to the driver for giving them the ride. Despite of that people are sensitive towards each other’s privacy and personal space and they respect that. Nobody judges you with the kind of clothes you wear or how your appearance is. There is no discrimination on the basis of your financial status, your caste, race or the country you belong to. I feel good and I guess everyone does or rather most of us does. I know people who have the habit of complaining and criticizing about things might not agree with me. There are many others things too but I guess I will close it here. As always, whatever I told is not generic, exceptions are always there but who cares. When someone smiles, I smile back too. Why not.. After all Smile is Contagious. A smile can make a bad day better. Every happiness begins with a smile. 

As Mother Teresa said, "Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing". So what's the harm in exchanging free gifts everyday. I don't mind ;)

I have lived here substantial amount of time but only thing I miss, being here, is my family and my old friends. I wish if everybody was here. I try to keep in touch with most of them but still I am sorry, if I was not able to do that. I guess, they don't judge me even if I don't call them for long, that’s why they are my friends still and forever. Moreover, nowadays grad school is keeping me more than occupied so finding time becomes difficult. Hmm..thinking of which....Being a student in US could be another topic to talk about but got to go now since I have an exam next week !!

I love this place and it is my home, till the time I am here. After all, Home is where the heart is.

My heart is with my love and my Love is here ;)

Again. Thanks for reading.

Luv

#Neetu

~~ Finally its here .. My first blog post !! ~~

The thought of having my own blog was in my mind for many years. I couldn't start, and always had the excuse of not finding time to do so. I even discussed with couple of my very close friends, on how to start with, since at times I am flooded with thoughts. I love reading blogs, its a very nice medium to know some other person's ideas and thoughts. Well, some of them are strangers and some are friends and family, but its fun. And yeah, not every blog is intriguing. I am not sure how intriguing my blog would be, but I just want to be myself and not a robot who excels in its writing skills. No offenses to anyone but I am not that serious kind in these matters. Its for fun.

Coming back to myself. I am a Graduate student. Like everyone, I too love doing few things for fun and that includes cooking, travelling, talking, shopping and eating :).. yeah these are just few things, considering I am a girl. I may be fuzzy at times, but my near and dear ones know that its momentarily. Thanks to them for being around even in such times. Love them for that.

I am not sure, how regular I would be here, but I will try my best. This is the inception. I would appreciate, if you leave your comments. I might need motivation to keep working on it.

Thanks for reading.

Luv
#Neetu